No Pikers on the Coast

This past week – like the majority of New Zealanders – I’ve been transfixed by newspaper, radio, internet and TV reports for the latest updates on the Pike River Coal Mine disaster. I desperately clung out for good news that the trapped miners could be saved and this story would have a happy ending. Sadly – for the 29 unfortunate men underground – their families and friends, the West Coast and the rest of the country – there was no happy outcome to this tragedy.
A second explosion deep in the mine on Wednesday afternoon extinguished the last flicker of hope that any of the 29 would be brought out alive – even if some of them had miraculously survived the initial blast of the Friday before.
And while this six day ordeal ended up with the worst possible outcome and the tragic loss of 29 men’s lives, it also bought out the best and worst in human nature and behaviour.
While we wait to see if the 29 bodies can be recovered and returned to their families or if the mine will forever remain their tomb, and before all the inquiries into why and how this happened, I want look back on the week’s events and how things unfoiled.
It all started on the afternoon of Friday, 19 November, when the country was rocked –both literally and metaphorically – by the news that there had been a major explosion in a coal mine at Pike River, on the South Island’s West Coast, and a number of men were missing. Immediately, Pike River’s Australian chief executive, Peter Whittall fronted the media and explained the situation as he understood it.
During the next six days – via twice daily media conferences – Whittall became the public face of this tragedy and the epitome of how adversity brings out the best in human nature. Whittall's tireless communications outlining the efforts being made to rescue these men, along with his hound dog features, are now indelibly etched on the nation’s conscious.
This empathetic, knowledgeable, caring and likeable character really lived up to the old maxim: “Cometh the hour; cometh the man”!
Another man to shine in the leadership stakes was Grey District mayor Tony Kokshoorn. His undaunting support for both the families and his community, coupled with his level-headed manner and ability sum up people’s feelings was remarkable. Kokshoorn’s confidence in the Coasters capacity to overcome this disaster and apt description that “coal dust ran in the DNA of the Coast” showed just how in touch he was with his community.
Another who stood up and out, in very difficult circumstances, was Tasman District police commander Gary Knowles the man charged with overseeing this most difficult operation. Despite coming under hostile, ill-informed and unfair criticism - from some parts of the media, family members and others, for not sending in people immediately to mount a rescue, he stood firm. Unfortunately, Knowles’ cautious and defiant stance not to risk any more lives until it was safe to do so, proved to be 100 per cent correct when the second explosion occurred.
Then there were those who did not equip themselves so well during this event. This included those aforementioned parts of the media – especially some of the Australians who flew over to cover the disaster – their boorish, smart-arsed and ill logical bagging and derision of Gary Knowles over the way he was handling the rescue operation. As yet, these arm chair experts, have failed to acknowledge Knowles’ call was right and they were wrong.
However, I have to save my biggest brickbat for the father of one of the lost men – Laurie Drew. While understandably upset and concerned about his missing son, Zen, Mr Drew did himself, his son or his family no favours by his complaints, strange conspiracy theories and behaviour. Drew’s claims of concern for his son seemed to get lost in the haze of his love affair with the media spotlight and attention it gave him. (In my opinion, if Laurie Drew really cared so much for his son in the first place, then he would not have given the boy such a silly name like Zen!)
Despite these minor glitches and the huge loss of their 29 men, the Coast and its community have come out of this tragic ordeal with their reputations greatly enhanced and a far better understanding for their plight from the rest of the country.

When ignorance is not bliss

It’s often said the first casualty of war is the truth.
Unfortunately, the same seems to apply to many of the ‘campaigns’ run by activists and lobby groups against sectors of New Zealand agribusiness.
Think of some of the campaigns that have been promulgated against different parts of the agribusiness sector via the media. Fish and Game’s “Dirty Dairying”; Greenpeace’s anti Palm Kernel imports; sow crates and genetic modification to name just a few.
Massey University science professor Jacqueline Rowarth regularly talks about the ignorance danger of many of these so-called ‘good intentioned’ campaigns. Rowarth, a columnist for a weekly business publication, has firm views on many subjects. But she backs her opinions with facts, evidence and data.
Ironically, many of these so-called activist campaigns against New Zealand’s agribusiness sector are seldom pressed – by a largely sympathetic and often ignorant mainstream media – for any facts, evidence and/or data to back their claims.
Recently, former ACT MP, journalist and latter day media commentator, Deborah Coddington penned an interesting column for a Sunday newspaper, where she opined on the growing danger of the divide between rural and urban New Zealand.
“It's open season on farmers. When they're not destroying the environment, they're torturing animals,” she provocatively began the aforementioned column.
While Coddington was being deliberately derisive with her opening salvo, she did make important and serious points. The nub of which was that most of the good-intentioned, but ultimately ill-informed ‘campaigns’ against our farming and agribusiness sector are often high on emotion, low on facts and ultimately dangerous!
“Ten years ago, it would have been silly for television to show a calf being born with the cow standing up and alleging that's cruelty to calves (cows can deliver standing up or prostrate). Or for a major newspaper to picture beef cattle in a stream and caption them as dairy cows,” Coddington added. “But both these occurrences were unquestioned, because the facts would have ruined stories where reporters were putting the proverbial gumboot into farmers.”
New Zealand agribusiness’s latest lament comes on the back of news that ex-pat, rich-lister Jan Cameron – founder of Kathmandu clothing and camping gear - has donated $2 million to animal activist group SAFE as reward money for farm workers to dob in their bosses.
Cameron’s endowment is being used by SAFE to encourage farm workers to report on their employers to authorities for cruel practices – especially the use of sow crates and caged hens.
While the good folk of Auckland’s Grey Lynn, Wellington’s Kandallah, and their ilk in other cities around the country, will no doubt fervently support this campaign as they sit down to enjoy their free range bacon and eggs brunches at their favourite organic cafes. However, I doubt their not so well-off counterparts in less wealthy parts of the country are so supportive.
A move to ban sow-crates and caged hens in New Zealand – may make the luvvies in the wealthy suburbs feel smug and happy to pay more for pork, ham, bacon, chicken and eggs. However, it’s doubtful the struggling people in the Mangeres, Poriuras and Flaxmeres would be so happy or able to pay more. But these families aren’t likely to be aware of this fact, as the proponents of banning sow crates and caged hens tend to gloss over such information when playing the emotional card.
Animal activists also neglect to inform people that the ‘evil’ pig crates happen to help prevent sows crushing, or even eating, their newly born offspring. Piglets, when born, are very small, so sometimes mum rolls over and splat! While piglets are so small, depending on the sow, it's better to have mama pig in a special pen for a few days where her babies can reach her teats, but she can't squash or eat them!
With these kind of information gaps, between what people are told by vested interest groups and what they should know, is furthering widening the gap between urban and rural New Zealand.
Lincoln University academic and commentator, Caroline Saunders believes the best way to bridge New Zealand’s increasing rural-urban divide is with better communication. She says this would help to improve farming’s image by highlighting positive aspects and – when problems occur – detailing how these are being dealt with.
Saunders makes a salient point. Ignorance is not so bliss, when it starts to threaten this country’s key economic contributor. It is high time New Zealand agribusiness sector got its act together.

Pansy gets it all Wong!

For all intense and purposes the political career of Pansy Wong, the freshly-resigned Women’s and Ethnic Affairs Minister, is all but over.
Her ministerial career is already toast and it is only a matter of time before she leaves Parliament altogether – either earlier via a by-election or at the next election when she will not bother to stand again.
Wong resigned her ministerial portfolios after admitting her husband, Sammy, conducted personal business while on a taxpayer-funded trip to China. Since then more allegations of similar trips have emerged.
It’s clear – excuse the pun – the Chinese walls Wong’s husband erected between his business dealings and his wife’s ministerial duties were far too flimsy and are the cause of her political demise.
However, Wong’s quick resignation from her ministerial roles, combined with her lowly ranking and minor portfolios, means PM John Key has dodged any real collateral damage to either his or the Government’s standing.
The fact is Pansy Wong was in all reality a token Minister. To not put too subtle point on it, her position in the Cabinet happened to be more to do with the fact she ticked two minority boxes – being Asian and a female – than any real talent.
Meanwhile, Wong’s Women’s and Ethnic Affairs portfolios are about as relevant and useful to modern-day Government as the appendix is to the human body. So – to cut a long story short – she is no great loss. A nice lady, dedicated MP and earnest performer, but her going from the Cabinet is not likely to be noticed by the general public.
This will not stop the Government’s opponents from crowing. Any ministerial scalp – no matter how irrelevant – is always a win for an opposition. So the struggling Labour leader Phil Goff is trying to milk it for all it is worth.
Goff claims the Prime Minister's handling of this issue has been “appalling” and that the PM has not shown “leadership” on the issue. While Goff and his Labour colleagues may believe this to be the case, I am pretty sure most voters do not care and still rate Key highly – especially when compared to the hapless Goff.
The irony is that Goff’s faux indignation and claims of the moral high ground over this matter could come back to bite him on the proverbial if he is not careful. Goff was a very high ranking minster in the past Labour administration, which sat by idly when the likes of Taito Phillip Field and Winston Peters played fast and loose with the rules as ministers.
While voters hate politicians who milk the system, they also hate hypocrisy and Goff wants to be careful he does not come across as a hypocrite. Goff’s Labour Party is hardly a shining example of open, honest and transparent administration.
I am betting this affair will have about as much impact on the current National Government’s stocks, as Pansy Wong did as a minister – bugger all!

Man up!

New Zealand rugby followers are quick to poke the borax at their English counterparts and label them whingeing Poms when they are not happy about something in the game.
However, the way All Black supporters and management are going on with endless complaints and nebulous justifications over hooker Keven Mealamu’s recent suspension for foul play, New Zealand is in very, real danger of stealing this mantel away from our motherland cohorts.
It is embarrassing and doing a lot of damage to the All Black ‘brand’.
Mealamu copped a four week – and justified in my view – suspension for head butting England captain Lewis Moody at Twickenham last weekend. He was suspended by the IRB judiciary after they reviewed footage of an incident involving Mealamu and Moody during the 50th minute of the All Blacks 26-16 victory on Sunday.
Despite the overwhelming and blatant video evidence of the New Zealand hooker smashing his head into the back of the English captain’s noggin – which constitutes a head butt in anyone’s language – everyone from the All Black management down are using the big Egyptian river defence – denial!
Some of the excuses used would be laughable if they were not so pathetic. All Black captain Richie McCaw led the charge with his excuse for Mealamu’s behaviour – when not whingeing about why one of the English players was not cited for another incident – was: “I think everyone knows what Keven's like and the type of guy he is.”
Gee, Ritchie I bet no defence lawyer has ever tried that one before.
“You see, your honour, everyone knows what a nice guy my client Mr Charles Manson, so can you please let him off with a warning?”
Meanwhile, assistant coach Steven Hanson – a mumbling, bumbling communicator at the best of times – claimed that Mealamu “was the only athlete in the world who doesn’t have a dirty bone in his body” and thus it was unfair that he had been suspended for headbutting.
FFS! The ‘only’ athlete in the world? Hanson is an assistant coach of one team, in a minor international sorting code – I fail to see how that gives him the ability to make a comment on the character of all sportsmen and women around the globe!
Now while I don’t doubt Keven Mealamu is a nice guy. Hell, I’ve even seen the guy on TV reading books – that he has illustrated – to sick children.
However, that still does not distract from the fact that he smashed his cranium into the back of Lewis Moody’s head during the test match last week. End of story. That is a headbutt and incurs a 4 week ban.
Remember Baakies Botha – the god-fearing, thug who locks the scrum for the Springboks – smashing his head into All Black halfback Jimmy Cowan’s skull during the tri-nations this year and incurring a ban? I don’t recall any of the All Black management calling for leniency for Botha because he is a practising Christan?
So – in the modern parlance – it is time the All Blacks, their management, captain, players and supporters “man-up”. They should just accept that Mealamu – lovely guy that he is – headbutted an opposition player during last week’s test and that means he must cop a suspension. Game over, move on.

In a league of their own

It’s been said that rugby league is a second class game, followed by second-class people and – going by the kind of negative publicity the game continues to garner – one would have to agree with this rather harsh claim!
In the past week alone, we have seen a couple of prime examples of why league has, and needs, to clean up its act.
Firstly we’ve had the spectacle of New Zealand league supporters descending upon the country’s showpiece for next year’s Rugby World Cup – Eden Park – to watch the Kiwis play the Kangaroos. However, instead of enhancing the sport’s name, these yobbos only managed to put more hits on the reputation and standing of their beloved game than the Kiwi team did in their big test match loss to the Australian opposition on the field!
NZ Herald league reporter Steve Deane summed up their behaviour aptly and succinctly in his comments:

“When it comes to giving itself a black eye, league is Manny Pacquiao and Floyd Mayweather rolled into one. It sets about itself with remarkable vigour, leaving its followers dazed and bloodied and wondering whether it's even worth coming out to answer the next bell.”

Deane’s description of the crowd’s antics paints a rather unseemly picture for all to see.
“The sight of thousands of people sheltering their children from flying missiles as they streamed for the exits with fully a quarter of the night's test to go was as bad as it gets for the code.
With more than 44,000 people packed into Eden Park and a strong Kiwis side facing a Kangaroos second string, major gains for the sport were begging to be made. All that was required was a half-decent Kiwis showing and a bit of common courtesy from those watching.
Instead, we got a booed Australian national anthem, a ham-fisted flop from the Kiwis and a near-riot in the stands. As bad as the Kiwis were, the behaviour from some in the crowd was worse. Much, much worse...”
Not a good look at all! And before any leaguies get all indignant and accuse me of picking on their game - which I am – they need to take a long look in the mirror. Perhaps they should be asking why league’s reputation is in tatters.
Another recent example is the news out of Australia, where Canberra Raider’s player Joel Monaghan was caught photographed in a rather compromising position with a dog. Apart from taking human/canine relations to a new low, as well as giving new meaning to the old saying: “giving a dog a bone”, Monaghan has again dragged league’s sullied reputation into the cellar.
Apparently these antics were part of a “Mad Monday” celebration to mark the end of Canberra’s 2010 season. Now if league advocates were serious about cleaning up their game they would do well by banning “Mad Mondays”. This is based on the rather novel concept of finishing up your season by encouraging everyone to drink as much alcohol as possible and see what happens.
However, what the idiots who allow this kind of Mad Monday rubbish to happen (which is a concept that comes straight out of the dinosaur age of rugby league back in the 1960s and 70s) fail to realise is: copious amounts of booze; plus young men; equals trouble!
Now I realise that the average league supporter is not a genius, but you don’t have to be Albert Einstein to deduce that this is a recipe for disaster.
You only have to read out a few of league’s long roll call of shame: Brad Fittler, Mathew Johns, pre season bonding sessions by the Canterbury Bulldogs, to see the common connection between the game’s bad behaviour and its booze culture.
Again, the yobbos at Eden Park were not fired up on candy and Coco Cola. But my guess is they had a belly full of booze and had transformed from loyal fans into an ugly, unruly mob.
I am not taking the piss out of rugby league. However, if the game’s administrators and supporters want to enhance its battered reputation, they could do a lot worse than taking the piss out of rugby league!

Redundancy a lifesaver!

While some people may get all bitter and twisted about being made redundant, I have never felt this way. And this has become even more obvious after reading this morning’s newspaper!
In fact, when it became apparent - a couple of months back - that I would not be offered a position with the new Auckland Council, I was quite philosophical about this situation. There was even a sense of relief that I would not be tied to an organisation that is likely to have numerous teething problems – due to its vast size and complex nature of its business.
Meanwhile, any thoughts of resentment about not having a job have now been replaced with gratitude after reading the following in today’s paper: ‘Tens of thousands of Kiwis are at risk of a potentially fatal "21st-century disease" from sitting at their desks for long periods each day, new research shows.’
According to this report, a study by the Medical Research Institute of New Zealand suggests that people who sit without moving for 10 hours a day – and for at least two hours without getting up – are three times more at risk of an embolism or deep vein thrombosis (DVT) than those who do not!
Ipso facto not getting a job at Auckland Council has actually saved my life!
So I owe a big thank you to Mark Ford and the Auckland Transition Agency (ATA) for caring so much about my personal welfare, that they did not give me a job at the new Auckland Council. There is little doubt that any role at Council would have consisted of a fair amount of sitting around on my chuff for long periods of time, which would have only encouraged and enticed DVT to shorten my lifespan.
According to lead researcher, Richard Beasley, the risks were potentially higher than for those who took long-haul flights because though the absolute risk was lower; more people were sedentary at work more often.
My thorough read of this article (after all, I do have the time since I don’t have a job!) explained that embolisms and DVT are potentially life-threatening blood clots where slow-flowing blood returning to the heart can clot, break away, and travel to the lungs, where it can prove fatal.
The ACC-funded study, which took two years, compared 197 people who had suffered veinous thromboembolism with 197 controls, and checked for stationary behaviour within the month before the embolism. Other risk factors include age, obesity, gender (females are more at risk), and a personal or family history of veinous thromboembolism.
So, as well as the huge debt of gratitude I owe to those who chose to extend my life by not employing me, all I need to do to ensure I keep DVT at bay and a long life is, not get too fat or undertake a sudden sex change operation and I should be sweet.
I think I can manage that.

Channelling my inner Tony Robbins

It is often said: ‘That as one door closes – another one opens’.
I was reminded of this rather ineffective one-liner, as I finished up my job last Friday and off to face a somewhat uncertain outlook – knowing I had no actual job to go to on Monday nor for the foreseeable future. There we all were, the majority of my former colleagues heading off to be part of the newly formed Auckland ‘super city’ Council. Meanwhile there was I – and a handful of others – who were not. Some had chosen to cash in their long years of council service to take the money and run. While the rest of us had been told – in not so many words – that the super city would be just ‘super’ without our services and we could bugger off and leave them to it!
So as yet another person feigned subdued interest about my future employment prospects, and expressed a modified version of the ‘one door closes’ line; I wondered where this statement originated from.
I have always been pretty sure this cheesy quote came from one of those ‘glass half-full’, motivational speaker types, who tend to infest the business speaking circuit nowadays. I can just imagine someone like Tony Robbins spurting out this crap at one of his awful seminars, and his audience of suckers – having shelled a thousand or so bucks a head to hear his all-teeth and sun tan pearls of wisdom – lapping it up this puerile rubbish as easily as they buy another one of his putrid self help books.
However, a bit of research – well... banging it into Google – and it turns out it wasn’t the aforementioned Mr Robbins, or any of his motivational-type mates who came up with this line. Instead it turns out ‘one door closes and other opens’ is a line used by the title character Don Quixote in the novel written by Spanish author Miguel de Cervantes in the early 1600s.
Now just what the hell a Spanish novelist in the 15th Century would know about corporate restructures or motivation has got me buggered. However, then again, what the hell would Tony Robbins really know about this either?
All I am saying is that the next person who blissfully suggests to me – after learning about my current employment (or more correctly unemployment) situation – that ‘when one door closes another one opens’ is likely to have the nearest door slammed in to their well-meaning, insincere face!