Just wondering!

Nobody asked me…but:

- I don't suppose Sir Peter Jackson will be casting Robyn Malcolm for any roles in the upcoming Hobbit films any time soon!

- Maybe if he is looking for someone to clean out the portaloos on set – and she is willing accept minimum wage like her Mexican counterparts in Hollywood?

- Is Phil Goff meeting with Julia Gillard because it's the only realistic way he’s ever going to see a Labour prime minister in Australasia while he is leader?

- Will Chris Carter still be on Phil Goff’s Christmas card list?

- Anyone else find it rather ironic that the only protests held during Labour weekend were anti-union ones?

- Does new Auckland ‘supercity’ mayor Len Brown wear his underpants on the outside of his trousers?

- And if Len Brown is the left’s answer, then it must have been a really stupid question!

- Has CTU boss Helen Kelly ever worked in a job where she had to employ people?

- Will Sonny Bill Williams’ shoulders explode if he pushes anymore weights?

- When will Allan Hubbard’s group of mindless supporters officially be declared a dangerous cult?

- Are the Black Caps really that crap?

- Or is the Bangladeshi cricket team just getting better?

- Was justice served with Bill Wilson’s resignation from the Supreme Court?

- Will Tony Veitch’s theme song be The Prodigy’s ‘Smack My Bitch Up’ when he returns to front Radio Sport’s breakfast show?

- Will Christchurch now change its promotional slogan to: ‘The city that rocks’?

- Did Paul the oracle Octopuss predict his own death?

Outrageous misfortune!

Well done NZ Actors Equity - talk about biting the hand that feeds you!
“And the Oscar for outstanding effort in exporting New Zealand’s fledgling film industry offshore goes to… NZ Actors Equity and their ubiquitous spokesperson Ms Robyn Malcolm.”
To paraphrase Winston Churchill: “Never in the field of acting endeavour have so few, done so much damage to so many and achieved so little.”
It seems the selfish and posturing actions of a small part of the actors’ union and its Council of Trade Union head Helen Kelly, along with the very smug and self-appointed font of New Zealand’s conscience, Robyn Malcolm have thrown into jeopardy the filming of the US $500 million Hobbit movies in New Zealand.
Warner Bros says it is considering offshore locations for The Hobbit movies.
In a statement the studio said the actions of unions had caused it substantial disruption and damage and forced it to consider other options.
Both the Government and director Sir Peter Jackson have blamed union actions for the possible loss of the two-film Lord of the Rings prequel, saying the international ban put on the movie during employment negotiations had undermined confidence in New Zealand as a location.
"What they saw as a predictable and settled environment ... now looks, because of the actions of the unions, to be a much more hostile and unpredictable environment," Mr Key explained.
It was only a month ago when all was looking good for the filming of the Hobbit movies in NZ. Peter Jackson – a hero to many in the local film industry – for putting New Zealand actors and technical people on the international map by making the very successful Lord of the Rings trilogy in this country, was set to crank thing up for his latest production when a small bunch of actors – stirred up by their Australian union comrades and supported by the militant and anti-business president of the CTU Helen Kelly threw a rather large spanner in the works.
In a very dramatic – what else would you expect from these acting luvvies – bid at publicity, NZ Actors Equity demanded that the producers of the movies change the employment rules and employ all actors on their movies as full time staff rather than independent contractors as is normally the case. When Jackson and Warners said no; the actors union - in a huff of self-importance - immediately placed an international boycott on the movies and the proverbial really hit the fan.
After it became apparent that the posturing by the union and Ms’s Malcolm and Kelly was a real threat to these movies going ahead in godzone and the livelihoods of thousands of technical staff and others – who would also miss out if they were shifted from NZ – these people came out in numbers to protest heavily against the unionists and their stupid actions.
So now with the Government, Peter Jackson, the Warners studio and also thousands of affected technicians and other affected parties baying for the unions to pull their heads out of their collective rear ends with the movies all but lost – suddenly both Kelly and Malcolm are trying to play the victims (the latter being about as good as she is an expert on climate change ie not very!) and blaming everyone else but themselves for this utter debacle.
If Warners do pull the plug and the Hobbit movies are lost to New Zealand Robyn Malcolm and Helen Kelly et el will have no one else to blame, but their own hubris and blinkered 1970s thinking.
Both these outdated women and their outrageous industrial bumbling are relics of a bygone socialist era that has failed miserably. They should be put in a museum they belong, and not as representatives of the vibrant and flexible industry that New Zealand film making and acting has become in 2010.

A real Rock and roller!

If there is one person who epitomises the hedonistic lifestyle of a rock and roll star it would have to be veteran Rolling Stones guitarist Keith Richards.
Now 66-year old ‘Keef’ is about to unleash all his antics of sex, drugs and rock n roll in a soon to be released autobiography. With a face only a mother could love and a body that has defied any reasonable expectation of human endurance, due to continued ingestion of illegal substances, Richards’ memoir – simply titled Life – will be a music groupie’s wet dream and a big money earner.
Mick Jagger’s well-worn side kick, whom he irreverently refers to in the memoir as "Your Majesty" and "Brenda" – gets the treatment from ‘Keef’ in the book, as do other celebrities including Johnny Depp and John Lennon.
With Richards promising to dish the dirt on his rock mates, as well as reveal his own well-documented lifetime foibles, the memoir is likely to be a huge seller and it has already brought its subject an advance of £4.8 million after a massive bidding war by publishers.
Even yours truly – not being a Stones fanatic or even someone with a great interest in celebrity culture or huge knowledge of music – is likely to be interested in reading ‘Keef’s’ missal.
Why? Because the guy is colourful, a survivor and a real character to boot.
Richards is an old style rock and roll legend. He is talented, gifted, but also flawed. And the founding member of the Rolling Stones is still very much musically relevant after 50 years in the business.
That is opposed to the manufactured music stars of today – such as Justin Bieber (who to me is the modern day equivalent of David Cassidy on Prozac). The modern day pop stars are neither talented, gifted and will definitely not still be around in 50 years time belting out their pointless, bubble gum songs. And thank god for that.
I also have a grudging admiration – and admittedly, a fair bit of envy – that Richards, even the way he looks, can still pull good looking birds. Bastard! And as someone who has battled the bottle and lost, I find it amazing that Keef has drunk, sniffed, smoked, injected and ingested anything and everything in his path and still not only remains alive, but also vertical and functioning.
True to form, Richards – who is famous for his insatiable appetite for drugs, although he gave up heroin in 1978 after a fifth drug bust and stopped using cocaine after a 2006 fall in Fiji forced him to undergo brain surgery – says he does not regret his exploits.
"I loved a good high. And if you stay up, you get the songs that everyone else misses because they're asleep."
Richards' memoir is published later this month and I have no doubt it will be a best seller.
Rock on Keef, rock on!

Goodnight Christine

As I blogged back in August, former Labour MP Chris Carter has proven just what a bitch he really is.
Back then I said:
"Carter has been mincing around Parliament like a spoilt child all year – blaming everyone and anyone, but himself – over his troubles for overspending on credit cards and unfettered travel all over the world care of the hard-pressed taxpayer.
His huge sense of entitlement has been so grand that any genuine questions about his over-the-top spending resulted in claims by MP of gay-bashing and unfairness.
Carter’s petulant and poor behaviour even got the better of the hapless Phil Goff - a month or so back - when he gave the errant MP a slap over the wrist with a wet bus ticket and demoted him a couple of slots. But instead of taking his medicine like a man and rebuilding his stocks within the party, the petty MP repaid his leader’s soft stance by writing an anonymous letter to the media undermining Goff's leadership."
Now after two months of "stress leave" from Parliament on full pay and other diversions, the Labour hierarchy has finally backed up the hapless Goff and thrown the recalcitrant MP out of the Party – the first such move since MP John A Lee was ousted in 1940 – despite an hour-long plea not to do so from Carter.
[Mind you, I am still unsure - considering the parlous state of Labour's poll ratings - whether being thrown out of this political party is a punishment or a blessing!]
Meanwhile, true to form, the now expelled former MP has declared war on Labour and leader Phil Goff, threatening to dish dirt and name those he said were involved in plotting to oust Goff from the top job.
Again - as I said in my earlier blog - with this kind of petulant and bitchy attitude it is no wonder former National MP and Auckland mayor John Banks dubbed Carter "Christine" when he was in Parliament.
Carter has claimed he lost 16 kgs and was 'clinically depressed' when he was booted out of caucus for trying to shaft - metaphorically - Goff.
Well I'm depressed that Carter is still pulling $120 K a year as an MP and managed to wrangle two months full pay while he worked on his fake tan and went to the gym while on stress leave!
Instead of whingeing and whining like the little girl he is. Carter needs - for once in his life - to man up and take his punishment. He gambled on trying to get rid of his leader, got caught and therefore lost.
Now he should do the Labour Party - which he claims to love so much - a favour and get rid of himself.
No one picked on Carter because he is gay, tall, bald or quite frankly a wanker! He was kicked out because he is a two-faced, lying, treacherous sneak. Even if Carter had been a meat eating, rugby playing, womanising, hard drinking bloke (admittedly not a very common feature in today's Labour Party) he would have still been given the arse for his behaviour.
It is good night Christine, you time is well and truly up.

Start a group!

Hey all you New Zealanders out there (even if you do not look like me) : why the hell are you so many of you getting into such a state about what Breakfast TV host Paul Henry says?
I can’t say that I’m either a fan or a critic of the so-called TV shock jock. Not that I am sitting on the fence or afraid to utter an opinion about him. It is just that I just don’t care.
I rarely watch Breakfast TV. And the few times I have seen Henry, he has come across as a bit of a goober – especially when he giggles at his own jokes.
However, the proverbial really hit the fan earlier this week, when the loudmouthed Henry was interviewing Prime Minister John Key about the Governor-General Sir Anand Satyanand. He asked Key during their usual weekly interview, "Are you going to choose a New Zealander who looks and sounds like a New Zealander this time ... Are we going to go for someone who is more like a New Zealander this time?"
Now while our current Governor General is of Fijian-Indian parentage, he was actually born, educated and worked all his life in New Zealand. So it appears Henry seems to have really upset those who cannot stand him, which tend to be the politically correct, liberal, feminist, tree-hugging crowd. And this is not surprising as these are the types who are often the targets of Henry’s funny – and not so funny – barbs.
A couple examples of these ‘Henryisms’ have included:
- Asking his co-host if a rather serious, but admittedly hirsute, female Greenpeace spokeswoman had a moustache following his interview with her.
- Getting all school-boyish and giggling uncontrollably and repeatedly saying the name of the Indian politician responsible for overseeing the Commonwealth Games Shelia Dickshit.
- Questioning whether British singing sensation Susan Boyle was retarded.
As I have said previously, I am rather ambivalent about Paul Henry and am not fussed if he stays or goes. But come on people can we all get a bit of perspective about this!
Has Henry’s rather stupid and boorish question about the GG’s appearance really been worth all the newspaper column inches, news bulletin leads and online commentary it has garnered during the week?
Or do many of those calling for his head, and/or expressing all the faux outrage about his comments, really have other agendas to play out? What really are the Green Party, the Unite Union – and everybody’s favourite rent a protestor John Minto so upset about?
Is it more because Henry is viewed as a right wing commentator – he did once stand for Parliament for the National Party (and was ironically well beaten by a transgender, Maori ) — and not a bastion of the liberal, left wing, intelligentsia who these people support?
Meanwhile, much of the media commentary and news stories about Henry’s GG gaffe can be put down to good, old-fashioned competitor rivalry. It is obvious much of this commentary is more about news organisations been able to have a whack at TVNZ than any real concern about what Henry actually said.
French writer Voltaire is often credited (and wrongly as it turns out) with the rather eloquent defence of tolerance and freedom of speech by saying: “I may disagree with what you say, but I’ll defend to my death your right to say it.”
I’m with Voltaire on this. Paul Henry might be a bit of a dick and what he said might not have been politically correct. But we live in a free country and we are all allowed our own opinions – no matter how unpalatable others may find them.
So to all Paul Henry's detractors - as the man himself would so succiently put it - start a group!

A one term wonder?

Is Auckland soon to become Brown’s-town?
If the latest polls are correct, then the Labour-backed Manukau mayor Len Brown is about to whip former National Cabinet Minister and current Auckland City mayor John Banks butt and become the first bearer of the mayoral chains in the new Auckland super city.
So instead of having the stucco tones of the - at times – anal John Banks leading Auckland, the about to be super-sized city is highly likely to be headed by a skinny, white bloke with a dodgy ticker from South Auckland who has does embarrassing raps and face slapping.
According to a recent Herald on Sunday poll the Manukau mayor's South Auckland supporters have turned out in unprecedented numbers, giving him 56 per cent support among those who say they have already voted. The same poll says that Banks has won only 33 per cent of the votes cast so far, but he can still theoretically close the gap. To have a chance, he has to persuade many less-committed supporters to make the effort of ticking the box and mailing back their voting forms.
So far, Brown's core supporters on his home turf of Manukau have voted in far higher numbers than those in Banks' strongholds of Auckland City and the North Shore. But even in Auckland City, Brown has a slight lead.
Banks is in the lead only on the North Shore and among those who are uncertain about whether they will vote. The poll shows Brown receiving overwhelming support in Manukau, and from Maori and Polynesian voters.
There probably is not a great deal of surprise in this poll result – although the 20-plus % margin may raise a few eyebrows. Brown has led Banks for most of the campaign and by quite a margin early on. That was until revelations about the self professed ‘man of the people’ using his Manukau Council mayoral credit card to buy personal goods like groceries and a hi-fi stereo dented his halo and allowed Banks to make it more of a neck and neck race.
It is clear that Len Brown has had one big advantage over John Banks in this mayoral race - all along - and that is: he is not John Banks!
Banks – or Banksie as he like to call himself – is one of those politicians people just love to hate. He is a polarising figure who inspires many people who would not normally bother to vote – to get off their arses and cast the ballot against him. While New Zealand mayoral races - and local government politics in general – are renowned for usually only attracting a great deal of public apathy and a complete lack of interest from the general public, Banks does tend to enthuse and motivate his detractors to vote for anyone but him.
Banks has already felt the love and then the hatred of Auckland's electors. He was first voted mayor of the city back in 2001 and spent the next three years antagonising people so much that he was thrown out of office in 2004. However, while Banks has many faults, being a quitter is not one, and he spent the next three years “transmogrifying” (his own description) himself into a kinder, gentler persona and romped back again into the mayoral chains and Auckland Town hall at the 2007 election.
However, if the polls are to be believed, Banks transmogrification has not been enough for the wider Auckland public and because of this Len Brown will be the beneficiary – which is ironic as it is beneficiaries and those of similar ilk who will have voted for Brown in their droves.
Yet while Brown may be the winner on October 9 – I have a feeling that he will only be a one term wonder anyway. The advent of the super city has not been greeted with universal joy or much enthusiasm in the region. But the one thing that people do want – and expect - from their super-sized council is much lower rates. But this is something that just will not happen no matter who is mayor. (Especially one who has promised free swimming pools for all and an extensive new rail link from Orewa to the airport!)
So with Len Brown as mayor he will be seen as the figurehead of the new Auckland and because lower rates will not be delivered – the adoring masses (let’s call it the Obama effect) that voted for him in 2010 with such high hopes and even higher expectations; will quickly turn toxic as rates go up and throw him out in 2013.