Nobody asked me, but ...who has got all our power?
There was certainly none of it in major parts of Auckland yesterday afternoon. A fire sparked underneath some pylons in a shelterbelt of trees on a non-descript Waikato property yesterday lead to major power disruption in Auckland and beyond.
Traffic lights went out - forcing police to control intersections - and more than 50,000 homes were left powerless and some businesses were forced to close.
For the past five years, Waikato landowner Steve Meier has being preventing Transpower against having the company's workers or pylons on his 13ha property at Matangi near Hamilton. The property has about six sets of lines running through it, including the all important Whakamaru-to-Auckland line.
Transpower has a right under legislation to enter properties to undertake maintenance work and has no legal obligation to compensate landowners as long as no "injurious effect" results.
Most media reports describe Meier as a ‘farmer’ and his property as a ‘farm’. Excuse me! But since when did 13 hectares (or just over 30 acres in the older parlance) suddenly become a farm?
From my reckoning, if that bearded bogan – seen having a spaze on national TV last night about the police unlawfully taking his gun – is making a living as a farmer off 13 hectares. Then he is no farmer, but a bloody miracle worker!
Meier, blames Transpower for the latest outage. Claiming he warned Transpower five years ago that a fire would happen on the land. Really? Funny that! Letting trees under a power line to grow near the wires and refusing Transpower access to trim them will do that!
Meanwhile, the aptly named Transpower chief executive, Patrick Strange says Mr Meier was the most difficult person in the country to deal with. No shit, Sherlock!
During the period of their feud, Meier has tried to get trespass orders against the grid operator, staged protests and attended Federated Farmer meetings with about 50 other landowners in the area upset at the company's refusal to pay for easement rights for hosting its structures.
Now current Auckland City Mayor John Banks – who wants the job for the new super city – has jumped into the fray claiming the disruption was the result of "under-investment, callous disregard by Government and reckless management by Transpower". (Say what you like about Banksie – but when he sees a political opportunity he is in boots and all!). Banks said it was a "Third World power supply" and Transpower executives "on their huge salaries" would be "held to account. I'll be talking to the Prime Minister and other relevant ministers about this".
However Energy Minister Gerry Brownlee summed up Mr Banks' reaction nicely as "a little bit over the top", given the problems the company had getting on to the farm.
Yesterday's incident couldn't be seen as a system failure, he said. "There was no failure as far as I can see of equipment. There was a fire. Whenever there is a fire, there is going to be potential for damage."
He said the fire was compounded by the Otahuhu power station and two other circuits being out of action for routine maintenance.
Brownlee has got this right. In my opinion, this is more about one person – Steve Meier – trying to screw money out of Transpower. Trouble is the law says Transpower can put pylons across land without compensation – just as it has on 20,000 properties across New Zealand . The pylons on Meier’s ‘farm’ have been there for 50-plus years. Meier only for 8. Methinks he was well aware of their existence prior to buying the property.
So what could all this be about? My guess is about Mr Meier trying to put pressure on Transpower and extract more dosh from it. The company is this year due to start an upgrade, worth at least $20 million, to increase the amount of electricity transported on the existing grid line. But it needs access to Mr Meier's property and is currently liaising with his lawyer. Bingo!
Good luck to him, but this greedy person shouldn’t hold the country’s largest city to ransom and expect any support or sympathy for his efforts.
Tuesday, January 26, 2010
Wednesday, January 20, 2010
How do you like your cows housed?
Nobody asked me, but... the old adage about not letting the facts get in the way of a good story is certainly dominating most of the reporting on the proposed 18,000 cow dairy farm in the Mackenzie Country.
There is a lot of talk about not so much about when the cows come home - but what and where the cows will call home!
To recap.
Three companies have applied for resource consents to build massive dairy farms in the Mackenzie Basin, where cows would live in "cubicle" stables most of the time.
However, opponents (ie mainly Greenies who object to any and all types of dairy farming full stop, don't live anywhere near where these farms are proposed - proven by the fact they can't even spell 'Mackenzie' correctly and keep on referring to the proposed area as the 'McKenzie Country') who warn the plan will tarnish New Zealand's environmental reputation.
Proposals for resource consents for 16 new dairy farm developments managing nearly 18,000 cows housed in cubicle stables are currently before Environment Canterbury (ECan).
Under the plans, cows will be confined in cubicle stables 24 hours a day for up to eight months of the year, from March to October. They would be allowed outside for 12hours a day from November to February.
Predictably, the Green Party is not in favour of the proposal. It claims the applications for land around the southern end of Lake Ohau and near Omarama mark the dawn of a new age of dairy farming in New Zealand.
"We've seen the dairy intensification happening and now we're into industrial factory dairy farming, pure and simple," says Russel Norman.
Norman - in an atypical Green Party fashion - is predicting all sorts of doom and gloom for the world as we know if the the plans get the nod. In his best Enoch Powell impersonation the Green's 'co-leader' says if the proposals went ahead, vast rivers of cow urine and faeces would be discharged on to land daily, threatening pristine high country lakes and rivers with pollution and algal blooms.
Norman has descibed the proposals with the deliberately provocative and emotional language as as "factory farming" claiming it will be harmful to the animals,
the surrounding environment and New Zealand's crucial free range image.
His scaremongering is paying off with most of the media reporting clearly anti the proposal and encouraging thousands to have joined websites opposing the cubicle farming.
The typical response is the following comment from one informed critic. "It's inhumane to the animals to be deprived of roaming the environment and deprived of the nutrients that the sun provides to them as living creatures," a disgruntled resident said. Yet when challenged as to whether he had seen a cow shed yet, the critic conceded he had not.
I am somewhat cynical about the motivations and knowledge of a man (and a political party) who is more comfortable wearing sandals than gumboots to be commenting on the pros (none) and cons (everything) about dairy farming.
What is suprising is the criticism of the plan from Fonterra. The dairy giant has condemned resource consent applications by claiming it was concerned about the environmental sustainability of such an operation and the potential detrimental effect on New Zealand's dairying image. This is despite the fact the Fonterra itself is an exponent of factory farming itself. Cows at the dairy giant's farm in China never get outdoors, the herd of about 5000 animals at its 35-hectare farm at Tangshanin Hebei province, east of Beijing, lives inside and does not graze on grass. The cows are milked three times a day.
When asked about the example of its Chinese farm, Fonterra said that was the way dairying was done in China and its chief concern was for the "fragile" environment of the Mackenzie Basin.
Really? Or is it more to do with the fact that possibly that the milk which is going to be produced on these farms is not going to Fonterra?
Even Prime Minister John Key - whose political antennae is picking up the general public discomfort to the proposal - has expressed discomfort at the thought of the 18,000 cubicle farm. The Government has discussed intervening as pressure grows from critics.
However Environment Minister Nick Smith, who has the power to "call in" the proposed farming operations in the South Island's Mackenzie Basin on environmental grounds, is still to make a final decision on whether to act.
If I was Dr Smith I would be more inclined to listen to more knowledgeable sources on cubical farming that Green politicians.
South Canterbury farmer Gert Van'tklooster has worked with dairy cows for more than 20 years. He has just invested in a free-stall cow house and says he cannot understand how anyone could call them inhumane.
"They can walk around, choose where they want to lie, go for a feed, go for a back scratch; why would you want more?" he says.
Another expert Chris Broadhead of Cow House Construction adds: "They're not factory farms, they're not cow cubicle sheds; they're not anything like that. They are free stall cow houses, the cows have an open stall and they can come and lie down and sit in when they want to."
Meanwhile, Federated Farmers dairy chairman Lachlan McKenzie (spelt correctly) says cows being kept in cubicle stables was "not like pigs in a sow crate". The stalls were availabe in different designs, but generally cows could sleep in them. McKenzie said it was "rubbish" for the Greens to suggest the cows would be confined to a cubicle. The Feds' dairy man also picked up on the Green's clear hypocrisy on this subject.
"It's a bit rich for the Greens because they are telling people that should have these sorts of homes for stock to keep them off pastures," he added. "You collect the nitrogen on concrete, put it into a bunker and then spread the nutrients very lightly across the paddock so the grass can fully utilise it so you don't have the leachate into a normal grazing situation. From an environmental point of view they are trying to do the right thing."
All good points!I for one will be interested to see how the resource consent process goes. I just hope that Ecan is swayed by the facts and not all the emotional claptrap that this project appears to be attracting.
There is a lot of talk about not so much about when the cows come home - but what and where the cows will call home!
To recap.
Three companies have applied for resource consents to build massive dairy farms in the Mackenzie Basin, where cows would live in "cubicle" stables most of the time.
However, opponents (ie mainly Greenies who object to any and all types of dairy farming full stop, don't live anywhere near where these farms are proposed - proven by the fact they can't even spell 'Mackenzie' correctly and keep on referring to the proposed area as the 'McKenzie Country') who warn the plan will tarnish New Zealand's environmental reputation.
Proposals for resource consents for 16 new dairy farm developments managing nearly 18,000 cows housed in cubicle stables are currently before Environment Canterbury (ECan).
Under the plans, cows will be confined in cubicle stables 24 hours a day for up to eight months of the year, from March to October. They would be allowed outside for 12hours a day from November to February.
Predictably, the Green Party is not in favour of the proposal. It claims the applications for land around the southern end of Lake Ohau and near Omarama mark the dawn of a new age of dairy farming in New Zealand.
"We've seen the dairy intensification happening and now we're into industrial factory dairy farming, pure and simple," says Russel Norman.
Norman - in an atypical Green Party fashion - is predicting all sorts of doom and gloom for the world as we know if the the plans get the nod. In his best Enoch Powell impersonation the Green's 'co-leader' says if the proposals went ahead, vast rivers of cow urine and faeces would be discharged on to land daily, threatening pristine high country lakes and rivers with pollution and algal blooms.
Norman has descibed the proposals with the deliberately provocative and emotional language as as "factory farming" claiming it will be harmful to the animals,
the surrounding environment and New Zealand's crucial free range image.
His scaremongering is paying off with most of the media reporting clearly anti the proposal and encouraging thousands to have joined websites opposing the cubicle farming.
The typical response is the following comment from one informed critic. "It's inhumane to the animals to be deprived of roaming the environment and deprived of the nutrients that the sun provides to them as living creatures," a disgruntled resident said. Yet when challenged as to whether he had seen a cow shed yet, the critic conceded he had not.
I am somewhat cynical about the motivations and knowledge of a man (and a political party) who is more comfortable wearing sandals than gumboots to be commenting on the pros (none) and cons (everything) about dairy farming.
What is suprising is the criticism of the plan from Fonterra. The dairy giant has condemned resource consent applications by claiming it was concerned about the environmental sustainability of such an operation and the potential detrimental effect on New Zealand's dairying image. This is despite the fact the Fonterra itself is an exponent of factory farming itself. Cows at the dairy giant's farm in China never get outdoors, the herd of about 5000 animals at its 35-hectare farm at Tangshanin Hebei province, east of Beijing, lives inside and does not graze on grass. The cows are milked three times a day.
When asked about the example of its Chinese farm, Fonterra said that was the way dairying was done in China and its chief concern was for the "fragile" environment of the Mackenzie Basin.
Really? Or is it more to do with the fact that possibly that the milk which is going to be produced on these farms is not going to Fonterra?
Even Prime Minister John Key - whose political antennae is picking up the general public discomfort to the proposal - has expressed discomfort at the thought of the 18,000 cubicle farm. The Government has discussed intervening as pressure grows from critics.
However Environment Minister Nick Smith, who has the power to "call in" the proposed farming operations in the South Island's Mackenzie Basin on environmental grounds, is still to make a final decision on whether to act.
If I was Dr Smith I would be more inclined to listen to more knowledgeable sources on cubical farming that Green politicians.
South Canterbury farmer Gert Van'tklooster has worked with dairy cows for more than 20 years. He has just invested in a free-stall cow house and says he cannot understand how anyone could call them inhumane.
"They can walk around, choose where they want to lie, go for a feed, go for a back scratch; why would you want more?" he says.
Another expert Chris Broadhead of Cow House Construction adds: "They're not factory farms, they're not cow cubicle sheds; they're not anything like that. They are free stall cow houses, the cows have an open stall and they can come and lie down and sit in when they want to."
Meanwhile, Federated Farmers dairy chairman Lachlan McKenzie (spelt correctly) says cows being kept in cubicle stables was "not like pigs in a sow crate". The stalls were availabe in different designs, but generally cows could sleep in them. McKenzie said it was "rubbish" for the Greens to suggest the cows would be confined to a cubicle. The Feds' dairy man also picked up on the Green's clear hypocrisy on this subject.
"It's a bit rich for the Greens because they are telling people that should have these sorts of homes for stock to keep them off pastures," he added. "You collect the nitrogen on concrete, put it into a bunker and then spread the nutrients very lightly across the paddock so the grass can fully utilise it so you don't have the leachate into a normal grazing situation. From an environmental point of view they are trying to do the right thing."
All good points!I for one will be interested to see how the resource consent process goes. I just hope that Ecan is swayed by the facts and not all the emotional claptrap that this project appears to be attracting.
Wednesday, January 13, 2010
I am no hero either, Chris!
While this may come as a surprise to the two or three poor, deluded people who regularly read this blog, but I just want to clarify - for the record - that I am no hero.
Just in case you mistakenly thought I wore my underpants on the outside of my strides, or that I could leap buildings in a single bound, or move faster than a speeding bullet.
To paraphrase Mark Twain rather badly: "Reports of my heroic status have been greatly exaggerated".
And what has bought about my sudden denial of heroism? I read that former Black Caps cricket all rounder Chris Cairns is also denying ''hero'' status.
Cairns has recently written (or more likely a highly-paid PR person employed by him) to the Stuff website claiming that he is not, never asked or ever wanted to have such a tag.
This denial was in response to a recent column penned by long-time sport reporter and columnist Joseph Romanos questioning Cairns' status as a New Zealand cricketing hero.
"I am a man who played cricket as a profession. Nothing more, nothing less. If some people derived enjoyment from that then I am a happy man. For those I have never met and didn't like my play then that's OK too, " was Cairns' slick response.
Great line. And going by the positive reaction from the punters to Cairns' decision to engage a spin doctor to come up with this 'I am not a hero' response, it has paid dividends in the field where he wants it to count most - that of public opinion.
Now while some may call me a cynic - I prefer to think of it as more like having a healthy dose of realism - but I don't believe Cairns' sudden rush of self-imposed modesty is without motivation. One gets the impression it is more do with the former international cricketer's desire to salvage his reputation and thereby protect his ability to earn big bucks in the latest cricket circus which is the hit and giggle 20/20 game in the Indian Premier League (IPL).
Currently, the reluctant hero Cairns is suing IPL commissioner Lalit Modi for defamation. Cairns' name was recently removed from a list of 97 players initially put forward for the next IPL player Twenty20 auction with Modi quoted as saying it related to match fixing allegations during Cairns' time in the unsanctioned India Cricket League (ICL).
Romanos opined in his opinion piece ...'Cairns match-fixing allegations set me to pondering the nature of sports heroes, and why Cairns, despite his cricket heroics, has never quite qualified.
He then goes on to ascertain why he (Romanos) believes Cairns has not made it to the upper echelons of hero status like other cricketing legends such as Bert Sutcliffe and John R Reid.
I tend to agree with Romanos' view. I reckon the main reason Chris Cairns has never made it to hero status - unlike his far less talented and accomplished father Lance who is still rated as a NZ cricketing legend - is the feeling that he was always more interested in No.1 than anything or anybody else.
Despite playing international cricket for New Zealand for 15 years and scoring over 3000 runs and taking more than 200 wickets, one always had a nagging feeling that Chris Cairns' efforts were more about helping Chris Cairns, than either his team or New Zealand cricket.
I don't deny there were often some heroic efforts done on Chris Cairns' behalf with the bat or ball for NZ cricket.
Yet here he is, long retired from the international game, and still trying to hawk off his cricketing skills to the highest bidder. Surely a true hero would still be representing his country if he's able to play for cricket money. Or he would have given so much for NZ in his playing days that he could no longer compete in the professional game?
But then again - just like myself - Cairns has declared that he is no hero. Never has he (or his spin doctor) written a truer word!
Mind you, unlike me, Chris Cairns was (and probably still is) a pretty handy cricketer and no one can take that away from him - even if he does wear his undies underneath his cricket whites.
Just in case you mistakenly thought I wore my underpants on the outside of my strides, or that I could leap buildings in a single bound, or move faster than a speeding bullet.
To paraphrase Mark Twain rather badly: "Reports of my heroic status have been greatly exaggerated".
And what has bought about my sudden denial of heroism? I read that former Black Caps cricket all rounder Chris Cairns is also denying ''hero'' status.
Cairns has recently written (or more likely a highly-paid PR person employed by him) to the Stuff website claiming that he is not, never asked or ever wanted to have such a tag.
This denial was in response to a recent column penned by long-time sport reporter and columnist Joseph Romanos questioning Cairns' status as a New Zealand cricketing hero.
"I am a man who played cricket as a profession. Nothing more, nothing less. If some people derived enjoyment from that then I am a happy man. For those I have never met and didn't like my play then that's OK too, " was Cairns' slick response.
Great line. And going by the positive reaction from the punters to Cairns' decision to engage a spin doctor to come up with this 'I am not a hero' response, it has paid dividends in the field where he wants it to count most - that of public opinion.
Now while some may call me a cynic - I prefer to think of it as more like having a healthy dose of realism - but I don't believe Cairns' sudden rush of self-imposed modesty is without motivation. One gets the impression it is more do with the former international cricketer's desire to salvage his reputation and thereby protect his ability to earn big bucks in the latest cricket circus which is the hit and giggle 20/20 game in the Indian Premier League (IPL).
Currently, the reluctant hero Cairns is suing IPL commissioner Lalit Modi for defamation. Cairns' name was recently removed from a list of 97 players initially put forward for the next IPL player Twenty20 auction with Modi quoted as saying it related to match fixing allegations during Cairns' time in the unsanctioned India Cricket League (ICL).
Romanos opined in his opinion piece ...'Cairns match-fixing allegations set me to pondering the nature of sports heroes, and why Cairns, despite his cricket heroics, has never quite qualified.
He then goes on to ascertain why he (Romanos) believes Cairns has not made it to the upper echelons of hero status like other cricketing legends such as Bert Sutcliffe and John R Reid.
I tend to agree with Romanos' view. I reckon the main reason Chris Cairns has never made it to hero status - unlike his far less talented and accomplished father Lance who is still rated as a NZ cricketing legend - is the feeling that he was always more interested in No.1 than anything or anybody else.
Despite playing international cricket for New Zealand for 15 years and scoring over 3000 runs and taking more than 200 wickets, one always had a nagging feeling that Chris Cairns' efforts were more about helping Chris Cairns, than either his team or New Zealand cricket.
I don't deny there were often some heroic efforts done on Chris Cairns' behalf with the bat or ball for NZ cricket.
Yet here he is, long retired from the international game, and still trying to hawk off his cricketing skills to the highest bidder. Surely a true hero would still be representing his country if he's able to play for cricket money. Or he would have given so much for NZ in his playing days that he could no longer compete in the professional game?
But then again - just like myself - Cairns has declared that he is no hero. Never has he (or his spin doctor) written a truer word!
Mind you, unlike me, Chris Cairns was (and probably still is) a pretty handy cricketer and no one can take that away from him - even if he does wear his undies underneath his cricket whites.
Thursday, January 7, 2010
Say what?
I am told that English is a living language – which means it is meant to be evolving all the time.
There is little doubt about this. One only has to pick, for example, the following random expressions – which are very much part of today’s vernacular: WTF? FFS! LoL and Burn – to understand just how much and quickly the mother tongue is changing each day.
Any student of the English language - who was suddenly beamed down to earth from another planet - would probably only recognise the last of these (the word ‘burn’) and fairly assume it was something to do with fire.
However, that would be a “major burn” if our newly arrived inter-planetary visitor, and ESOL student assumed this to be the case. Just like my teenage translators of modern day English – Teenglish – like to gleefully inform me when I get something horribly wrong.
I blame this evolving – or more correctly revolting decline – of the English language into Teenglish firmly at the makers of the mobile phone.
The rot set in when people started shortening and abbreviating correspondence so messages could fit within the 200 or so characters allowed when sending texts. This saw frequently used expressions such as ‘by the way’ and ‘in my opinion’ abbreviated to ‘btw’ and ‘imo’. While words such as what, please, love – shortened to wot, pls and luv. And because people are inherently lazy and sloppy these text abbreviations have now found there way in to our everyday language. However, before I come off sounding like some old curmudgeon. Or even my own parents – who claimed that my generation were ruining the Queen’s English (I guess we weren’t so ‘radical’ after all eh ma and pa?) – I am not against change per se. I would not be without my own mobile phone or laptop. I think the internet is the best thing to come along since slice bread.
I believe Facebook is a great way of keep in touch with people – as long as you restrict it to only real friends. And not welcoming as additions every friend of your sister’s, flatmate’s, cousin’s, mate’s brother who stalks you online!
So it looks like we are going to have to get used to the further revolution of the English language(as I've said it is revolting). This only means one thing – having to brush up on the latest advancements. According to the teen social networking site Habbo Hotel, the top 25 "Teenglish" buzzwords for 2009 – as nominated by 2000 users – were:
1 diss – To disrespect someone or something.
2 fail – An expression of disapproval for something or when someone does fail at something.
3 ftw - For the win, which is used to show enthusiasm for something, eg "kittens FTW".
4 hai - Hi.
5 idc - I don’t care.
6 idk - I don’t know.
7 ily - I love you.
8 irl - In real life.
9 jks - Jokes.
10 k or kk - Okay.
11 meh – An expression of indifference.
12 noob - A new person, also newbie, often used to make fun of someone you don't like.
13 pwn, pwned, pwnage - To "own someone", beat them at a game or teach them a lesson.
14 plz - Please.
15 props - Proper respect.
16 rents, rentz or rentals - Parents.
17 rofl - Roll on the floor laughing.
18 soz - Sorry.
19 srs - Serious, seriously.
20 sup - What's up? What's happening?
21 tbh - To be honest.
22 totes - Totally.
23 ty - Thank you.
24 w.e - Whatever.
25 zomg - Expression of amazement or shock at something even more amazing than omg (Oh My God).
However, parents – or "rentals" as the teens would say – be warned: do not attempt to use this teenglish when communicating with your kids and their friends. All you will achieve is an “epic fail” and sound like a real ‘lameo’.
It is a bit like being a one of those code breakers used by the British during the Second World War who were used to intercept and decode German radio transmissions. While you are able to decipher what the enemy is saying, you can never participate in the actual communications.
So we rentals should remember the following:
Tbh, idc if you have learnt nothing else, but plz don’t go dissing with your kids language, k. Srs you will be totes soz if you try and engage and start asking them sup. They will be like zomg, w.e. As there is nothing worse than a noob not displaying props irl. All you are going to achieve is an epic fail. No jks! ty.
I suppose these Teenglish language developments are progress. But personally I find it all a bit ‘meh’ – I much prefer my English the way it was. Later!
There is little doubt about this. One only has to pick, for example, the following random expressions – which are very much part of today’s vernacular: WTF? FFS! LoL and Burn – to understand just how much and quickly the mother tongue is changing each day.
Any student of the English language - who was suddenly beamed down to earth from another planet - would probably only recognise the last of these (the word ‘burn’) and fairly assume it was something to do with fire.
However, that would be a “major burn” if our newly arrived inter-planetary visitor, and ESOL student assumed this to be the case. Just like my teenage translators of modern day English – Teenglish – like to gleefully inform me when I get something horribly wrong.
I blame this evolving – or more correctly revolting decline – of the English language into Teenglish firmly at the makers of the mobile phone.
The rot set in when people started shortening and abbreviating correspondence so messages could fit within the 200 or so characters allowed when sending texts. This saw frequently used expressions such as ‘by the way’ and ‘in my opinion’ abbreviated to ‘btw’ and ‘imo’. While words such as what, please, love – shortened to wot, pls and luv. And because people are inherently lazy and sloppy these text abbreviations have now found there way in to our everyday language. However, before I come off sounding like some old curmudgeon. Or even my own parents – who claimed that my generation were ruining the Queen’s English (I guess we weren’t so ‘radical’ after all eh ma and pa?) – I am not against change per se. I would not be without my own mobile phone or laptop. I think the internet is the best thing to come along since slice bread.
I believe Facebook is a great way of keep in touch with people – as long as you restrict it to only real friends. And not welcoming as additions every friend of your sister’s, flatmate’s, cousin’s, mate’s brother who stalks you online!
So it looks like we are going to have to get used to the further revolution of the English language(as I've said it is revolting). This only means one thing – having to brush up on the latest advancements. According to the teen social networking site Habbo Hotel, the top 25 "Teenglish" buzzwords for 2009 – as nominated by 2000 users – were:
1 diss – To disrespect someone or something.
2 fail – An expression of disapproval for something or when someone does fail at something.
3 ftw - For the win, which is used to show enthusiasm for something, eg "kittens FTW".
4 hai - Hi.
5 idc - I don’t care.
6 idk - I don’t know.
7 ily - I love you.
8 irl - In real life.
9 jks - Jokes.
10 k or kk - Okay.
11 meh – An expression of indifference.
12 noob - A new person, also newbie, often used to make fun of someone you don't like.
13 pwn, pwned, pwnage - To "own someone", beat them at a game or teach them a lesson.
14 plz - Please.
15 props - Proper respect.
16 rents, rentz or rentals - Parents.
17 rofl - Roll on the floor laughing.
18 soz - Sorry.
19 srs - Serious, seriously.
20 sup - What's up? What's happening?
21 tbh - To be honest.
22 totes - Totally.
23 ty - Thank you.
24 w.e - Whatever.
25 zomg - Expression of amazement or shock at something even more amazing than omg (Oh My God).
However, parents – or "rentals" as the teens would say – be warned: do not attempt to use this teenglish when communicating with your kids and their friends. All you will achieve is an “epic fail” and sound like a real ‘lameo’.
It is a bit like being a one of those code breakers used by the British during the Second World War who were used to intercept and decode German radio transmissions. While you are able to decipher what the enemy is saying, you can never participate in the actual communications.
So we rentals should remember the following:
Tbh, idc if you have learnt nothing else, but plz don’t go dissing with your kids language, k. Srs you will be totes soz if you try and engage and start asking them sup. They will be like zomg, w.e. As there is nothing worse than a noob not displaying props irl. All you are going to achieve is an epic fail. No jks! ty.
I suppose these Teenglish language developments are progress. But personally I find it all a bit ‘meh’ – I much prefer my English the way it was. Later!
Tuesday, January 5, 2010
It's all about me!
Goodbye 2009 and hello 2010.
A new year, a new decade and a new beginning.
For some this will be the case, while for others 2010 will be just another case of Groundhog day - or more correctly year.
During the holiday period I spent some time discussing this blog with my family and the actual point of it. The fact is there is no point to my regular reflections - or rants as my sisters claim this blog to be. It is just an outlet for me to express an opinion or two.
I have never claimed to be some all knowing sage or oracle of wisdom and benevolence. This blog is merely - as its brief description states : 'The postings of an ordinary bloke with the odd - and often at times rather odd - view of the world'.
Nothing more, nothing less.
So sorry girls, but if you hoping I would undergo a Damascus-like conversion over the Christmas break and start writing about what a wonderful PM Helen Clark was. Or that John Key is ruining the country. Or that Lucy Lawless and Keisha Castle-Hughes' climate change claims are sound, reasonable; and not just self-promotion and cheap publicity for themselves - then you are out of luck.
As Popeye correctly says - I am what I am.
This is my blog, it is my opinions and my thoughts.
The fact is I don't like Helen Clark, her politics or her legacy. I believe her leaving New Zealand was the best thing to happen to this country since the All Blacks won the inaugural Rugby World Cup in 1987!
That doesn't mean I did not admire her political acumen and ruthless ability to cut the throats of opponents and supporters alike if it suited her cause. Much like I admire the ability of a a great white to despose of its prey - but this does not mean I like sharks!
To me Helen Clark was a nasty, false, pompous witch who's driving force was not the betterment of the country, but the betterment of Helen Elizabeth Clark. One of the greatest days of my life was election night 2008, when New Zealanders finally saw threw her venal and dark facade and booted her socialist, nanny-state, politically-correct bunch of hanger-ons out of power!
Do I believe John Key will be a better PM and better for NZ? You bet your sweet arse I do.
Does it irk me that Lucy Lawless - and others - are able to make outrageous claims about climate change - something they have no knowledge or qualifications to speak about - and are never seriously questioned to back up their claims by a fawning and pathetic fourth estate? Too bloody right!
But this does not mean that I am angry about life. In fact, I couldn't be happier with my lot.
Does it make me a right-wing, nutter? Well, I am not sure what that means. I actually believe the terms right or left wing are far too narrow to define a person's beliefs.
That is partly why I created this blog. So I could express my views on such matters. And also to help improve my writing and add a little bit of humour when I can.
So for 2010 I am still going to write what I think. However, I will try and be more thoughtful and witty, but at the end of the day it is all about me and my opinions.
As someone once said: "Everyone has opinions just like they have bums."
And just like with my posterior - every now and then I like to stop sitting on my opinions and reveal them to the world! Depending on your point of view - this can either be a rather ugly or beautiful sight. I will leave this judgement for others to make.
Happy new year!
A new year, a new decade and a new beginning.
For some this will be the case, while for others 2010 will be just another case of Groundhog day - or more correctly year.
During the holiday period I spent some time discussing this blog with my family and the actual point of it. The fact is there is no point to my regular reflections - or rants as my sisters claim this blog to be. It is just an outlet for me to express an opinion or two.
I have never claimed to be some all knowing sage or oracle of wisdom and benevolence. This blog is merely - as its brief description states : 'The postings of an ordinary bloke with the odd - and often at times rather odd - view of the world'.
Nothing more, nothing less.
So sorry girls, but if you hoping I would undergo a Damascus-like conversion over the Christmas break and start writing about what a wonderful PM Helen Clark was. Or that John Key is ruining the country. Or that Lucy Lawless and Keisha Castle-Hughes' climate change claims are sound, reasonable; and not just self-promotion and cheap publicity for themselves - then you are out of luck.
As Popeye correctly says - I am what I am.
This is my blog, it is my opinions and my thoughts.
The fact is I don't like Helen Clark, her politics or her legacy. I believe her leaving New Zealand was the best thing to happen to this country since the All Blacks won the inaugural Rugby World Cup in 1987!
That doesn't mean I did not admire her political acumen and ruthless ability to cut the throats of opponents and supporters alike if it suited her cause. Much like I admire the ability of a a great white to despose of its prey - but this does not mean I like sharks!
To me Helen Clark was a nasty, false, pompous witch who's driving force was not the betterment of the country, but the betterment of Helen Elizabeth Clark. One of the greatest days of my life was election night 2008, when New Zealanders finally saw threw her venal and dark facade and booted her socialist, nanny-state, politically-correct bunch of hanger-ons out of power!
Do I believe John Key will be a better PM and better for NZ? You bet your sweet arse I do.
Does it irk me that Lucy Lawless - and others - are able to make outrageous claims about climate change - something they have no knowledge or qualifications to speak about - and are never seriously questioned to back up their claims by a fawning and pathetic fourth estate? Too bloody right!
But this does not mean that I am angry about life. In fact, I couldn't be happier with my lot.
Does it make me a right-wing, nutter? Well, I am not sure what that means. I actually believe the terms right or left wing are far too narrow to define a person's beliefs.
That is partly why I created this blog. So I could express my views on such matters. And also to help improve my writing and add a little bit of humour when I can.
So for 2010 I am still going to write what I think. However, I will try and be more thoughtful and witty, but at the end of the day it is all about me and my opinions.
As someone once said: "Everyone has opinions just like they have bums."
And just like with my posterior - every now and then I like to stop sitting on my opinions and reveal them to the world! Depending on your point of view - this can either be a rather ugly or beautiful sight. I will leave this judgement for others to make.
Happy new year!
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