Say what?

I am told that English is a living language – which means it is meant to be evolving all the time.
There is little doubt about this. One only has to pick, for example, the following random expressions – which are very much part of today’s vernacular: WTF? FFS! LoL and Burn – to understand just how much and quickly the mother tongue is changing each day.
Any student of the English language - who was suddenly beamed down to earth from another planet - would probably only recognise the last of these (the word ‘burn’) and fairly assume it was something to do with fire.
However, that would be a “major burn” if our newly arrived inter-planetary visitor, and ESOL student assumed this to be the case. Just like my teenage translators of modern day English – Teenglish – like to gleefully inform me when I get something horribly wrong.
I blame this evolving – or more correctly revolting decline – of the English language into Teenglish firmly at the makers of the mobile phone.
The rot set in when people started shortening and abbreviating correspondence so messages could fit within the 200 or so characters allowed when sending texts. This saw frequently used expressions such as ‘by the way’ and ‘in my opinion’ abbreviated to ‘btw’ and ‘imo’. While words such as what, please, love – shortened to wot, pls and luv. And because people are inherently lazy and sloppy these text abbreviations have now found there way in to our everyday language. However, before I come off sounding like some old curmudgeon. Or even my own parents – who claimed that my generation were ruining the Queen’s English (I guess we weren’t so ‘radical’ after all eh ma and pa?) – I am not against change per se. I would not be without my own mobile phone or laptop. I think the internet is the best thing to come along since slice bread.
I believe Facebook is a great way of keep in touch with people – as long as you restrict it to only real friends. And not welcoming as additions every friend of your sister’s, flatmate’s, cousin’s, mate’s brother who stalks you online!
So it looks like we are going to have to get used to the further revolution of the English language(as I've said it is revolting). This only means one thing – having to brush up on the latest advancements. According to the teen social networking site Habbo Hotel, the top 25 "Teenglish" buzzwords for 2009 – as nominated by 2000 users – were:
1 diss – To disrespect someone or something.
2 fail – An expression of disapproval for something or when someone does fail at something.
3 ftw - For the win, which is used to show enthusiasm for something, eg "kittens FTW".
4 hai - Hi.
5 idc - I don’t care.
6 idk - I don’t know.
7 ily - I love you.
8 irl - In real life.
9 jks - Jokes.
10 k or kk - Okay.
11 meh – An expression of indifference.
12 noob - A new person, also newbie, often used to make fun of someone you don't like.
13 pwn, pwned, pwnage - To "own someone", beat them at a game or teach them a lesson.
14 plz - Please.
15 props - Proper respect.
16 rents, rentz or rentals - Parents.
17 rofl - Roll on the floor laughing.
18 soz - Sorry.
19 srs - Serious, seriously.
20 sup - What's up? What's happening?
21 tbh - To be honest.
22 totes - Totally.
23 ty - Thank you.
24 w.e - Whatever.
25 zomg - Expression of amazement or shock at something even more amazing than omg (Oh My God).
However, parents – or "rentals" as the teens would say – be warned: do not attempt to use this teenglish when communicating with your kids and their friends. All you will achieve is an “epic fail” and sound like a real ‘lameo’.
It is a bit like being a one of those code breakers used by the British during the Second World War who were used to intercept and decode German radio transmissions. While you are able to decipher what the enemy is saying, you can never participate in the actual communications.
So we rentals should remember the following:
Tbh, idc if you have learnt nothing else, but plz don’t go dissing with your kids language, k. Srs you will be totes soz if you try and engage and start asking them sup. They will be like zomg, w.e. As there is nothing worse than a noob not displaying props irl. All you are going to achieve is an epic fail. No jks! ty.
I suppose these Teenglish language developments are progress. But personally I find it all a bit ‘meh’ – I much prefer my English the way it was. Later!