Leave osmosis to the trees

The Saint is no saint, but at least he can now admit when something is wrong - which is a big change from the past.
He has recently experienced the threat of being given the DCM - don't come Monday!
Apparently there are seven stages of loss or grief that a person will experience during such a time. These are: (1) Shock or Disbelief that it has occurred. (2) Denial where you refuse to accept it is over. (3) Bargaining... trying to reconcile the loss by making deals with your partner or even God. (4) Guilt - which is marked by regular thoughts of "if only I had done/or been . . . ". (5) Anger. (6) Depression. (7) And finally... Acceptance that your life will go on with meaning and hope. To be fair yours truly was oscillating back between steps 1-4 on a pretty regular basis.
Relationships are not easy - ain't that the truth. We all make mistakes some big, some small - but in the end these can add up. If you relationship is on a good footing it will withstand these speed bumps and you move on. However, if something is wrong, or all is not happy it will chip away at the foundations of your partnership like water on a sandstone - and eventually it will crumble. Just like Richard Worth rather unwittingly discovered, so too has the Saint found that saying 'sorry' - even when you genuinely mean it - will not cut it. However, unlike the aforementioned former Minister of the Crown, the Saint had not being throwing his pork sword all over the place.
However being a thoughtless dropkick and not thinking enough about your partner's feelings, or not being considerate enough is just as corrosive and limiting to a future of togetherness - as was chasing Labour Party harlots was for Dirty Dr Dick's political career.
What have I learnt? That I am a work in progress and need to always be on my guard for complacency and laziness - in all aspects of my life. That I need to be able to accept other people's decisions - even when I don't like them. And that I make mistakes and need to admit it when I am wrong. That I can ask for forgiveness, but should not automatically expect it.
For years the big black dog - or bouts of depression - has been a regular visitor of mine. In the past, my main coping mechanism has been to go into my shell and withdraw from the world for a while until things come right. Not the most wonderful method, but it was one that seemed to work for me. This might have been ok when I lived on my own, but a pretty dumb way to manage things when you are in a relationship.
As the old Telecom advertising campaign, fronted by Cockney actor Bob Hosking, use to say : "It is good to talk". People are not mind readers. If you are down, talk about it and explain how you are feeling. Others may not understand completely, but at least they might be able to get an idea of why you are disengaging from the world.
During these visits by the big black dog, life can be a bit like walking around in waist deep mud all the time. It is hard work and you often do and say things that are hard for normal people to understand or relate to. It is at these times, your nearest and dearest find the hardest - especially when the person they love is walking around like a mummy and about as communicative as a teenage boy!
This I now realise and see how this kind of behaviour can lead to your loved one telling you to head for the door and don't let it hit you on the arse on the way out.
However, luckily the Saint has learnt to open up a little more and let the management know that he is currently in a bit of a hole and needs some help to climb out of it. The good news is that she is happy to lend a hand and for that I am truly grateful. My life is all the better for having her in it.
So the big DCM, which was a reality, has been avoided by the Saint actually being able to honestly talk about things - instead of expecting other to know this by osmosis.
A word to the wise, leave the osmosis to the plants and tell those you need to how you are really feeling - as cockney Bob use to say all those years ago: "It really is good to talk."