Going down without a tweet…

I admit it – it was nothing but a silly gimmick and a complete waste of time.
What the hell was I thinking doing it? Who was I trying to kid? And why has it taken me so long to realise all of this?
All good questions and hopefully I can give some useful answers to these.
But first, let me confess my sins. Forgive me father for it has been two whole months since I last sent a tweet and I have now come to the conclusion what an utter waste of time and effort it is in a sad old fart like me having a Twitter account.
For those of you who are either not young and cool enough – or like yours truly foolish enough – to get caught up in the over-hyped, social media phenomena that is Twitter; let me explain exactly what it is.
Twitter is a free social networking and micro-blogging service that enables its users to send and read messages known as tweets. Tweets are text-based posts of up to 140 characters displayed. The basic premise of Twitter is to let people know ‘what you are up to right now’.
That’s right, the whole raison d’etre of Twitter is to let your ‘followers’ (code for your on-line stalkers) know exactly what you are up to at that very second – in 140 characters or less!
So just what kind of self-absorbed, attention seeking, lazy, full of their own self importance type of wanker wants the whole world to know what they are up every minute of the day? Well, funny you should ask. It appears the main users of Twitter are either teenagers, twenty-somethings, politicians, celebrities or actors. I guess the earlier description catches all those groups rather nicely!
As far as I can ascertain, Twitter is Facebook with a bad case of ADD.
Now don’t get me started on Facebook. I so over the constant hassling you get from all those social retards, geeks and tossers you never associated with at school or university wanting you to be their ‘friend’.
Here’s a newsflash for all those delusional dead beats who are so desperate to be my friend: “If I didn’t like you back then – I’m hardly likely to want to have anything to do with you now. Got that Poindexter!”
However, if things do change and I have a sudden urge to add you to my social circle – I will do something crazy like ring you up or go around and pay you a visit. Not send you some random email out of the blue after 20 years and invite myself into your life.
So just to recap – I have sent my last tweet. There will be more tittle-tattle on Twitter for me – it’s for twits, twats, tweens and tragics.