Who the bloody hell cares!

Nobody asked me, but… who the bloody hell cares about the machinations of Michael Clarke (MC) and Lara Bingle’s (LB) recently terminated relationship?
Well, apparently everyone on both sides of the Tasman does – if you have reading the papers lately!
Well, Clarke is a pretty handy cricketer and current vice captain of the Australian team, while model Bingle sure is pretty and probably best known for donning a bikini in those Tourism Australia ads and famously asking: “Where the bloody hell are you?”
All the fuss started a few weeks back, when it was revealed that there was an unauthorised topless photo of young Lara doing the traps around various footy clubs and schoolboy internet accounts throughout Australia. (I am still a bit bemused as to exactly why Lara was so upset about this anyway – considering that in her day job she prances round mostly naked in an effort to make a few bucks selling trips to Australia or mobile phones to the masses).
Anyway, it appears the rogue photo was taken by an ex boyfriend of Lara’s – a boofhead, Aussie rules footballer named Brendan Fevola – who happened to be (and I think still is) a married man when he and Miss Bingle were doing the horizontal bungee jump. A classy guy on so many levels!
But stone the bloody crows or fair suck of the Sav – as your average, Aussie battler is fond of saying it seems this story is of such huge interest to the punters (no, not Aussie captain Ricky ‘Punter’ Ponting’s family, but Jo and Joanne Public) that lovely Lara – commercially-minded little Shelia that she is – managed to flog it off to a women’s magazine for a cool $2 million! Nice work if you can get it.
However, Lara’s enterprising endeavours to extrapolate as much cash out of her dodgy photo situation as possible, forced Clarke to interrupt his flaying of the Black Caps’ bowling attack – in the midst of the one-day series against NZ – and catch a plane back to Oz.
However – to use cricketing parlance – rather than the master batsman digging in to support his little woman, it appears Lara’s latest stunt was the final delivery that clean bowled the lucky country’s 'It' couple's (think Posh and Becks, but with Aussie accents) perfect engagement.
By all accounts, the romance was not so much the fairytale we were all led to believe – as all the magazines which had paid them to tell us all that it was.
Mind you one does have to ask: ‘Where the bloody hell’ was Clarke’s brain when he decided to propose to Lara.
She is one of those girls who are euphemistically described as having a past. And looking at LB's past it's possible she has had more naked sportsmen go through her than the showers at the MCG.
We have all heard the warnings about ‘a woman scorned’ and all that. But to flush the $200K diamond engagement down the dunny after Clarke called it quits on the romance. And her latest stunt to have her mother and brother hawking off her story on the break up to the highest bidder is taking things a little far.
So while Clarke might have been somewhat Po-faced and down in the dumps on his return to the New Zealand cricket tour. One suggests a couple of good knocks in the test series with the bat, a few beers with his mates and the search for a new trophy-WAG will ease his pain and help him come to realise he may have dodged a bullet by punting the high maintenance Lara for touch.
As some wag (no not slang for wife and girlfriend, but for witty person) suggested the other day, it appears Michael Clarke is not the first well-known cricketer to be done in by a dodgy LB.