How come when a couple of British toffs decide to get married and it is worthy in New Zealand of 12-hour TV news specials on the day, as well as kilometres of coverage in magazines and newspapers, and radio stations broadcasting live from London a week or so beforehand?
It is all very nice that Wills and Kate are tying the knot, but is it really worth all this fuss 12,000 kilometres away in a far forgotten part of the former British Empire?
Short answer – no!
However, what the media realise is that it will be a ratings winner and earn a fortune in advertising revenue. So – volia – we have wall-to-wall Will and Kate crap on TV and in the papers for months to come! And that’s the reason why all the woman’s magazines in this country are still quick to put any minor royal on to one of their covers – as they know it sells.
Sure William will one day be King. But that is after his grandmother finally pops her clogs and his father has also departed from this mortal coil. And – going by the longevity of the Windsor family – that could be some 50-plus years away, which by then New Zealand will probably be a republic!
Prince William looks a nice enough young man, if a bit boring (he reminds me of the Harry Enfield character: ‘Tim Nice, but Dim’). Meanwhile, Kate Middleton is cute-looking, but about as exciting as the final session of a long, drawn-out cricket test match.
To be fair, the more interesting royal is William’s younger brother Harry – due to the fact he parties hard, shoots people, dresses up as a Nazi and is a bit of a mad rooter. I could probably understand all this media fuss if the world’s most infamous royal ginga – since his nut-job aunt (Fergie) – was walking down the aisle. That’s because we know his marriage will eventually end up being a train wreck and make compelling reading.
I also get the feeling that Kate’s parents – especially her mother – are so desperate to be part of the upper-class set, and make a few quid on the side, that they would sell their soon-to -be princess’s bridal underwear to the highest bidder. So don’t be surprised when you see Kate’s wedding knickers end up on E-bay!
My major disbelief over all the royal wedding hype in this country is not fuelled by any fervent, anti-monarchist feelings. In fact, I am quite ambivalent about the royal family and actually reckon the Westminster model of Government works pretty well here. I certainly don’t see any pressing need for own republic-status and president.
What I can’t understand is how and why in 2011, New Zealand needs to be saturated with wall-to-wall media coverage of Will and Kate’s big day. If it were a couple who were more relevant and important to our country’s fortunes – like Dan Carter and Honor Dillon – then maybe I could understand it a little more.
Roll on April 30 and something far more newsworthy!
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