Getting sucked in by the Lemon Detox Diet

During the past week, the Saint embarked on one of the more foolish endeavours he has endured during his time on this planet - the Lemon Detox diet (LDD)!
What? Yip, old mugsy decided to give the latest fad in supposed weight loss a burst. Now just what possessed yours truly - who is supposed to be reasonably well-educated, somewhat worldly-wise and avid cynic about most things in life - to go down this track is a little hard to explain. However, suffice to say a combination of middle-aged spread, winter discontent and encouragement from the management led me to give it a go. I guess the seduction of imagining my less than cut torso being magically transformed into an Adonis version after a week on the LDD was a key catalyst.
So after visiting one of the the snake-oil shops - ie "health stores" - pawning this latest fad on the general populace and shelling out 120 bucks, I had all the necessary ingredients to make up the LDD and was all set to go.
And just what do these ingredients consist of I hear you ask? A paperback book of instructions of about 100 pages, a two-side brochure showing how to make up the "magic" drink, a one litre tin of "miracle" syrup, a 50 gram bag of cayenne pepper and 20 "special" herbal tea bags. How about them lemons?
Well, just like those toys you got as a kid, where the batteries were not included - believe it or not - the $120 kit pack for the Lemon Detox Diet did not include lemons.
Despite such a glaring omission, which did not set off alarm bells of derision in the Saint's mind - who obviously was still captivated by his soon-to-be Michael Phelps-like physique - continued on his foolish citrus fruit-fuelled way.
So Sunday night, after a 'last supper', the LDD began in earnest. That night a drink of 'special' herbal - supposed bowel movement inducing - tea was dutifully consumed. Also prepared was the two litres of liquid which was to be the sole component of any sustenance for the next 7-10 days while on the LDD. This drink mix consisted of 120 mls of "magical" syrup, 140 mls of lemon juice (hand squeezed from about 6 lemons), a pinch or two of cayenne pepper with the rest made up of water.
Let's just say after three-long days of starvation, living on nothing more than this sickly liquid, as well as two to three cups of laxative tea - the Saint called it quits before a splitting headache, hunger pains and liquid bowel movements lead to imminent death or suicide.
So what was the outcome of the LDD - apart from what has been graphically detailed above?
Any weight loss? Don't know, as I did not have access to bathroom scales and failed to weigh myself before starting or when finishing. Was I healthy, energised and detoxified afterwards. No - more like lethargic, bored and starving.
However, it is likely I did drop a few pounds - as would anyone who starves themselves for three days - but the weight is now probably back.
At least I have a new appreciation for food and a renewed cynicism for quick and easy miracle cures.
Lessons learnt. If i want to lose weight in the future - I'll just eat less and exercise more.
So it is not all sour grapes - or more correctly - lemons as it should be in this case!